5 posts tagged “starr”

Let me address something quickly: very, very, very few people know what love actually is.

Love isn't being stupid and not letting go when someone hurts you,
that's stupid. that's desperation. that's the feeling of being afraid to be alone.

I hate kids claiming they're in love, because that's a total load of crap. Very few people know what love is.
You have to grow up to understand love, be mature. most of you- aren't, sadly.
They know what "afraid-to-be-alone" syndrome is or the "omg-he's-so-sweet/hot" but they don't know love
BECAUSE "OMG! HE PROBABLY JUST WANTS IN YOUR PANTS!!!"

they think it's that fuzzy feeling in your tummy.
that's a crush. another, simpler word for infatuation.

love is being there for somebody.
being their best friend.
accepting the fact that they make mistakes,
working at it. but not letting them run over you.
it's knowing not to let go when things get hard.
it's not letting your friends know every detail of your relationship
BECAUSE your relationship is your business.
not Sally's. or Sue's. or Bob's. or whatever your friend's name is.

She crushes my heart
But spares my mind
She rips & tears my body apart
Yet she leaves my soul behind
How can I stand to deny her?
Once you’ve had a taste you’ll try her.

Love for food has come back
She slashes me with whips of emotion
I try to run but always come back
To my seething devotion
Back to my best friends;
Ana & Mia

She wreaks my bones
But mends my soul
She’s a jealous one; I serve her alone
She leaves me broken & yet I am whole
How can I stand to resist or doubt her?
I simply cannot exist without her.

My body is sick and I’m tired
But my mind is sharp and I’m fired
A feeling like this
Are Ana Mia’s blessed bliss.
My mouth pulses with revulsion
With my fevered devotion
For my best friends;
Ana & Mia

She shows me my bones
And tells me how she’s proud
But she ignores my moans
And tells me to sleep when I cry aloud
How can I stand not to lie for her?
When I would gladly die for her.

Another day; another fast
Maybe Ana & Mia will take me home at last
“Am I skinny enough now?” I ask as I close my eye
“You’ll be skinny enough when you die.”
Ana & Mia reply
It’s not a lie

Fresh Starts,

Thanks to the calender, they happen every year.
Just set your watch to January.
our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year, bringing on the great tradition of new years resolutions, put your past behind you, and start over.
A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.

Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins?
It's not a day on a calender, not a birthday, not a new year.
It's an event.
big or small, something that changes us.
Ideally it gives us hope.
A new way of living and looking at the world.
Letting go of old habits, old memories.
Whats important, is that we never should stop believing we can have a new beginning.
but its also important to remember that amid all the crap, there are a few things really worth holding on too.

♥

Honestly, I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. In about 8 months I'll be on my own. I always wanted to leave home and run away before, but now that I'm older- and it's time for me to leave; I realize that I'm really not ready to be on my own. I'm never going to be able to pay for college and rent. I'll probably never be able to leave home, which will be awful. So I'll be stuck in this mad house forever?

Today me and my best freind were taking the train home, (lately we've been talking about our future) it came down to the same conversation we usually have, what's going to happen when we're in college. I'm pretty sure she'll get into a really good college, maybe even a ivy league, but me- i might not even get into any college. I'm not even sure what I want to do in the future!

So she tried figuring out what I was good at, and you know what that was? NOTHING! I'm good at nothing at all. My best freind couldn't even figure out what I'm good at, and that's just sad. I'm a pathetic looser wasting space on earth.

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it all, all we really want is to be close to somebody.

So this thing where we all keep out distance, and pretend not to care about each other, its usually a load of bull.

So we pick, and choose who we want to remain close too. And once we've chosen these people, we tend to stick close by.

no matter how much we hurt them.