3 posts tagged “randomness”

Things aren't going so well. Everyday I go outside and I put on a fake smile, act like nothing's wrong. Outside-when I am not home, I am happy. I feel great, I seem to have every reason to live. I'm motivated to do my school work and be successful in life.
But once I get home, it's all over. I feel so depressed, the thoughts keep coming back. I can't stop it. There is so much negativity around me-from my mother and everyone else at my home.
I don't have a good relationship with my mother, I don't think my mother had a good relationship with anyone. She is not the type of person anyone would want to be friends with.
I come home and it's the same thing over and over again. The abusing never stops, sure she doesn't hit me-well atleast not anymore; but the things she says hurt-a lot. She doesn' know when to stop.This is supposed be the time where I should be getting love and support from my family. But instead I get mean words.  

In the eighth grade, my class had to read Romeo and Juliet.

I told my teacher that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls in love with the one guy she knows she cant have. Then she blames fate for her bad decision.
My teacher explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window.

Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together; but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would've been okay.

I said that when i was "grown-up" I would take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down.
My teacher said I'd be lucky if i ever had that kind of passion with someone.
And if i did, we'd be together forever.

Even now, i believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending.

And sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions,

fate wins anyways.

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it all, all we really want is to be close to somebody.

So this thing where we all keep out distance, and pretend not to care about each other, its usually a load of bull.

So we pick, and choose who we want to remain close too. And once we've chosen these people, we tend to stick close by.

no matter how much we hurt them.