12 posts tagged “random”

No one believes that their life will turn out "just kind-of" okay.

We all think we're going to be great, or at least some part deep down inside us.

And from the day we decide to be a certain someone, or something, we are filled with expectations.

Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, who we will touch, and the difference we will make.

Great expectations of who we will be. Where we will go, and then...
We get there.

We all think we're going to be great.
And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met.

But sometimes, our expectations sell us short

Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You have to wonder why we cling to our expectations;

the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still.

The expected is just the beginning.
grear
the unexpected, is what changes our lives

In the eighth grade, my class had to read Romeo and Juliet.

I told my teacher that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls in love with the one guy she knows she cant have. Then she blames fate for her bad decision.
My teacher explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window.

Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together; but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would've been okay.

I said that when i was "grown-up" I would take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down.
My teacher said I'd be lucky if i ever had that kind of passion with someone.
And if i did, we'd be together forever.

Even now, i believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending.

And sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions,

fate wins anyways.

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it all, all we really want is to be close to somebody.

So this thing where we all keep out distance, and pretend not to care about each other, its usually a load of bull.

So we pick, and choose who we want to remain close too. And once we've chosen these people, we tend to stick close by.

no matter how much we hurt them.

Pain comes in all forms.

the small twinge, soreness, the random pain.
The normal pains we deal with everyday.
Then theres the kind of pain you just can't ignore.

A level so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the whole world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt.

the sad thing is; most of the time, this pain so huge, does not come from something physical. It comes from the people we trust and love the most.

How we manage our pain, is up to us.

Pain. We take extra pills, embrace it, ignore it and for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

Pain. You just have to ride it out. Sitting there wishing you weren't hurting so much, isn't going to change anything.

You just have to ride it out, and hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breath deep and wait for it to side.

Most of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. It catches you way below the belt and doesn't let up.

You just have to fight through it. Because the truth is, you cant outrun it and life always makes more.

Its the first thing we really learn in life.
Funny thing is, as we grow up, learn our words, and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say or what to ask for what we really need.

At the end of the day, there are some things we just can't help but talk about.
Some things we just don't want to hear.
And some things we say because we just can't stand to be silent any longer.

Some things are more then what you say, they're what you do.
Some things you say because there's no other choice.
Some things, you keep to yourself.
And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

Whats worse?

New wounds which are so horribly painful?
or
Old wounds that should have healed years ago and never did?

Maybe old wounds teach us something, they remind us where we've been, and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. Thats what we like to think.

But thats not the way it is, is it?

Some things we just have to learn over and over again.

Today was an average day, I spend the whole day thinking.
If you know me really well, you probably know that I really want to be in a pageant. I applied for Miss Teen New York USA, and i got accepted.
Now I am a state finalist. I've been thinking if I should really go. I have never been in a pageant before, I have no past experience, and this is a big competition.
I probably don't even have a chance. The pageant fee is $1000, I do not have that type of money. I can get sponsors, but sponsors are hard to find. I know, go to family run businesses, but I live in new york city, most of the businesses are giant mega businesses. They are like chain stores.
I'm really not sure what to do, I dot what to go and  not win.
I'm really at a confused state right now.