9 posts tagged “nusrat eshita”

Fresh Starts,

Thanks to the calender, they happen every year.
Just set your watch to January.
our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year, bringing on the great tradition of new years resolutions, put your past behind you, and start over.
A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.

Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins?
It's not a day on a calender, not a birthday, not a new year.
It's an event.
big or small, something that changes us.
Ideally it gives us hope.
A new way of living and looking at the world.
Letting go of old habits, old memories.
Whats important, is that we never should stop believing we can have a new beginning.
but its also important to remember that amid all the crap, there are a few things really worth holding on too.

♥

Honestly, I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. In about 8 months I'll be on my own. I always wanted to leave home and run away before, but now that I'm older- and it's time for me to leave; I realize that I'm really not ready to be on my own. I'm never going to be able to pay for college and rent. I'll probably never be able to leave home, which will be awful. So I'll be stuck in this mad house forever?

Today me and my best freind were taking the train home, (lately we've been talking about our future) it came down to the same conversation we usually have, what's going to happen when we're in college. I'm pretty sure she'll get into a really good college, maybe even a ivy league, but me- i might not even get into any college. I'm not even sure what I want to do in the future!

So she tried figuring out what I was good at, and you know what that was? NOTHING! I'm good at nothing at all. My best freind couldn't even figure out what I'm good at, and that's just sad. I'm a pathetic looser wasting space on earth.

For everything that you go through, there are times when you don't have to be strong.

There are times when it's healthy to cry, to scream, to be mad.

And whether its madness in anger, or sadness, or in both, you dont have to pretend to be strong.

when every heart beat hurts.

Pain comes in all forms.

the small twinge, soreness, the random pain.
The normal pains we deal with everyday.
Then theres the kind of pain you just can't ignore.

A level so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the whole world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt.

the sad thing is; most of the time, this pain so huge, does not come from something physical. It comes from the people we trust and love the most.

How we manage our pain, is up to us.

Pain. We take extra pills, embrace it, ignore it and for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

Pain. You just have to ride it out. Sitting there wishing you weren't hurting so much, isn't going to change anything.

You just have to ride it out, and hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breath deep and wait for it to side.

Most of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. It catches you way below the belt and doesn't let up.

You just have to fight through it. Because the truth is, you cant outrun it and life always makes more.

I don't get it.
I don't understand why everyone now-a-days is so dishonest.
Really, if people would just outright say what they feel, it would make alot of lives a hell of alot easier.
There isn't anything to be ashamed of.
Gather your balls and spit it out.
Just say what you want, fuck.
It's just going to make someones life, be it whoever, a hell of a lot easier. Sure, you might disappoint someone, but really, WHO CARES.

Theres a fine line between being rude, or mean; and being honest.
Sure, if you think someones ugly as a fucking horses ass, you "honestly" want to tell them, but don't. bite your tongue, save that person their little share of self- esteem they have left.

If someone tells you a secret that should be kept, keep it. Even if you truly hate the person, save them their dignity. Thats called trust, and disrespecting someones trust, even if you hate them, makes you untrustworthy. Definitely not a trait you want on your back.

Really, some people in this world need so smarten up, it pisses me off so much how awful people can be. Don't open your mouth till you honestly know what the situation is. People all have feelings. Just because you don't understand them, doesn't make them not there. No matter how hard they try and hold back the tears, or try and act like they have a tough skin, it honestly hurts. Its not a surprise so many teens are killing themselves these days. Or are depressed out of their minds and turn to drugs, or razer blades to stop them from feeling. They're tortured till they just cant take it anymore, kids are so freaking rude and ignorant, and it really needs to stop.

People should try and be good people because they want to be good people. They shouldn't do or say things because their friends are around and everyones making fun of the little fat kid in the corner, the kid who's ears stick out, the kid who cant say his "R"'s correctly, the one who's a bit different then everybody else. Just because all your little friends laugh, doesn't make it right, and certainly doesn't make you a better person. You're wrecking someone from the inside out. Driving them to slow insanity, the kind that cant be fixed, because they cant get away, the kind that cant be fixed by a hug and a little talking.

no, I'm not perfect, and yes, I've done some of these things, but really. we all need to stop and think about what we're about to say, who we're about to tell, or not saying what you want to say.

Some people need a swift kick in the ass.

life is about choices. choices that make you who you are. Choose who you want to be.

-If this offended you and any way- I am truly sorry-

Its the first thing we really learn in life.
Funny thing is, as we grow up, learn our words, and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say or what to ask for what we really need.

At the end of the day, there are some things we just can't help but talk about.
Some things we just don't want to hear.
And some things we say because we just can't stand to be silent any longer.

Some things are more then what you say, they're what you do.
Some things you say because there's no other choice.
Some things, you keep to yourself.
And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

Whats worse?

New wounds which are so horribly painful?
or
Old wounds that should have healed years ago and never did?

Maybe old wounds teach us something, they remind us where we've been, and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. Thats what we like to think.

But thats not the way it is, is it?

Some things we just have to learn over and over again.