3 posts tagged “hell”

Honestly, I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. In about 8 months I'll be on my own. I always wanted to leave home and run away before, but now that I'm older- and it's time for me to leave; I realize that I'm really not ready to be on my own. I'm never going to be able to pay for college and rent. I'll probably never be able to leave home, which will be awful. So I'll be stuck in this mad house forever?

Today me and my best freind were taking the train home, (lately we've been talking about our future) it came down to the same conversation we usually have, what's going to happen when we're in college. I'm pretty sure she'll get into a really good college, maybe even a ivy league, but me- i might not even get into any college. I'm not even sure what I want to do in the future!

So she tried figuring out what I was good at, and you know what that was? NOTHING! I'm good at nothing at all. My best freind couldn't even figure out what I'm good at, and that's just sad. I'm a pathetic looser wasting space on earth.

No one believes that their life will turn out "just kind-of" okay.

We all think we're going to be great, or at least some part deep down inside us.

And from the day we decide to be a certain someone, or something, we are filled with expectations.

Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, who we will touch, and the difference we will make.

Great expectations of who we will be. Where we will go, and then...
We get there.

We all think we're going to be great.
And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met.

But sometimes, our expectations sell us short

Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You have to wonder why we cling to our expectations;

the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still.

The expected is just the beginning.
grear
the unexpected, is what changes our lives

As you can see, I have changed my blog name to broken butterflies. Broken Butterflies is a song I wrote a few months ago. Well, it's more like a poem, I am hoping to turn it into a song. So far I have a few songs written for my band. I don't have a band yet, but once I do get people in we can use my lyrics. Most of my lyrics are all about the same thing. My best freind calls them depressing, they are not depressing.
My band would be more like evanescence or maybe paramore. I like the paramore idea better, I don't think I see my self as an Amy Lee type of person.
Have you ever noticed how beautiful Amy Lee is? She is one of the most beautiful people in the music industry. She doesn't seem to need a lot of make-up to be pretty. She's just naturally flawless.

ok so heres my song/poem thing:

 

Go to sleep, and close your eyes,
and dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings against a thorn.
You know the pain that they have born.

Silver metal, shine so bright.
Scarlet blood, that feels so right.
Dream of that blood trickling down,
And wake up just before you drown.

The moonlight's shining off your tears,
As you bleed out your own worst fears.
So tonight when you start to cry,

Whisper the cutter's lillaby:
Hush baby, you're almost dead.
You don't have a pulse and your pillow is red.
Your family hates you,
Your friends let you bleed.
Sleep tight with a knife,
cause it's all that you need.

Rockabye baby, broken and scarred.
You didn't know that life would be this hard
Time to end the pain that you hide so well,
And down will come baby,
Straight from hell.

So there it is, broken butterflies. Tell me what you think...wait I doubt I have readers. If you happen to come across this page and read the song, comment!