4 posts tagged “dark”

When I was a kid, like many of you, I was terrified of the dark. Not because I was afraid of a nocturnal monster, but because I was afraid of the uncertainty darkness cast on my comfortable surroundings. At night, for all I knew, the things hiding in the dark were infinitely more terrifying than a frightful creature. The things hiding in the dark were the screams of my mother, the uncertainty before me, the birthing of insecurity, the is there anything.

As we drag, kick, and scream our way through life—as we dance, laugh, and kiss our way through life—we cannot possibly anticipate what greatness, what sadness, is hiding in the shadows of our future. And what's both more chilling and comforting is that what has happened in our past will have always have happened in our past—the permanently exposed.

In the dark, I've faced physical and emotional torture beyond my wildest imagination. In the dark, I've stumbled in search of courage and hope. In the dark, I've wondered aimlessly into victory and happiness.

It's what life is all about, really. What's lurking in the shadows. Sure, many of us prefer recess during the day to discover happiness and ponder our place. But on a playground in the middle of the day, we see everything. Every slide, every jungle gym, every picnic table—it's all in plain sight. On this playground, we do what we wish because we know what we wish; we see our next step.

But at night, when the swings are desolate and even the moon has settled; when the streetlamps have retired; when the stage is cast in darkness—this is where we can only assume what will come.

After Midnight
As so many grandmothers do, mine reminded me that "nothing good happens after midnight." And how true she was. Nothing good could possibly happen after midnight because "good" is a description of mediocrity. Midnight is the icon of darkness; it does not know mediocrity. Greatness? Yes. Horrific tribulation? Yes.

In the dark, we drive more carefully, our guard is higher, our senses more alert, our mind more focused. That's the way things are not because we love the dark but because, inevitably, we must endure the dark.

The greatest darkness is the future. What will happen tomorrow, next week, next year, in an hour. It's the kind of darkness that we should keep top-of-mind to make the most out of. In the light—the present—we must make most of what we have to best prepare for the darkness ahead.

No one will ever see into darkness, but if we play our cards right, when the sun finally shines, we will embrace whatever peril, whatever fortune, comes our way. And if it is the case that we stump our toe along the way, we will learn where next to walk; if we do not, we run the risk of falling into a different kind of darkness.

So my boyfriend just dumped me. Well, I guess he's my ex now. I don't even know why he did. He said he needed space or time to be alone. Yet it doesn't make sense, he wants to see other people. I'm so confused, I loved him so much. I gave up so many things for him, I didn't apply to Dartmouth-my dream college, because he didn't want me to be far away. I didn't apply to Brown or Northwestern. My grades, are so low, I'm failing. My best friend and I don't seem to have the same bond as before. My relationship with my parents worsened.
Did he not think of these things when he broke up with me? Did he give up anything for me? All I asked was for him to stop smoking. I only wanted the best for his health. And he didn't stop.
I guess he was lying when he told me he "loved me" or he "wants to spend the rest of his life with me" . You don't just stop loving something out of no where.

And I, I was a fool to believe him. Not only did he break my heart once, he did it again. He shattered into a million pieces.

Things aren't going so well lately.My parents are driving me nuts. I'm tried of hearing people say : "They're only doing this because they care about you." Yeah Right! You don't even know how much of a pain they are. There is a fine line between discipline and abuse, and they crossed that line.

I decided that I am going to be applying early decision to Dartmouth College. I want to be as far away from them as possible. I know I am going to miss New York, and all my friends here, but I can't take it anymore. Maybe going away for a while is just what I need. I need time to think and figure out what to do with myself. And Dartmouth is perfect, its a good school, in a quiet area and I might actually get in.

No one believes that their life will turn out "just kind-of" okay.

We all think we're going to be great, or at least some part deep down inside us.

And from the day we decide to be a certain someone, or something, we are filled with expectations.

Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, who we will touch, and the difference we will make.

Great expectations of who we will be. Where we will go, and then...
We get there.

We all think we're going to be great.
And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met.

But sometimes, our expectations sell us short

Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You have to wonder why we cling to our expectations;

the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still.

The expected is just the beginning.
grear
the unexpected, is what changes our lives